Today is Awkward Moments Day!
You ever have one of those moments that you just will never forget? Mine happened over thirty years ago, and to this day? It haunts me. They say to write what you know, but I don’t think I can ever work with this. I’m too scarred.
Let me set the scene for you. I was 19 years old, still pretty shy. I was at AIT (Army job training) at Fort Jackson, South Carolina in the middle of the summer. I was in class, impersonating a shrub in my old school BDUs. Camouflage for those not in the know. I was helping my battle buddy figure something out. What, I don’t know. That part of the story wasn’t key to my humiliation. She was having a hard time, so all my attention was focused on her. To my detriment. One of the soldiers at the table in front of me, a gorgeous guy who looked like he was the epitome of an adorable farm boy next door, turned around to see if I had an extra black pen that he could borrow. Black pens are as much a part of the uniform as combat boots, and, overachiever that I was, I always had several on me. Without looking, I reached into my cargo pocket, pulled one out, and slapped it into his palm.
“Uh, Ingram?” That is what I hear, my maiden name. Slightly annoyed at the interruption, I look up to find Private Gorgeous staring at me with an amused expression on his face. It’s an expression I don’t immediately understand. Until my attention is drawn to his outstretched palm. There I find…
…
…
…
a tampon nestled in its wrapper.
To his credit, he didn’t torture me with it. I gave him a pen, and it was never mentioned again.
Thirty years later… the mortification is real.
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